I’m not sure why I have such a hard time keeping my thoughts flowing and sharing that with you in regards to my general theme “Life After Parenthood”.
Maybe it’s because I thought what I have to say has no meaning in your day to day life. Maybe it’s because in between doing things that I think are important (work, family, dogs, beach, not neccessarily in that order), are long blocks of time that I feel are full of minutiae.
In 2014, almost 7 years ago (wow, time flies), when Hayden went to North Carolina for college – it left an emptiness in my heart and home. It took a long time to find my path after that, but I did.
That was the foundation of my “Life Beyond Parenthood” Vlog/Blog – and lifestyle started to stay connected with people who are at that space, either their kids are grown up, out of the home and don’t need us in that same daily capacity that they used to…OR for people who decided not to have kids and find a deeper meaning in their life beyond a traditional family.
So here I am – struggling through that again. This time, it was prompted by a few things;
- The (Covid-19) Pandemic
- Not going back to Roatan this year
- My Omi going through the realities of aging and heart disease, as well as memory loss and limited physical abilities.
- Being alientated by a loved family member for something I didn’t do – something not only terrible and unethical but something that goes against who I am as a human being (and I wonder if there is some cognitive issues happening there)
It all had me stopped in my tracks,
But this time, instead of crawling under than warm fuzzy blanket and struggling in my own world/mind, I’ve learned to reflect, learn and modify my responses. I’m learning to have compassion instead of using judgement towards others and myself. This is a huge practice that will take a long time. I’m not there yet, but I’m on the path. Every day I practice compasssion – especially with myself. I do this by recognizing when my own judgement affects my relationships and contemplating why I made that judgement. The other type of judgement I’m working on is when I’m being judged or my ways or decsions are being questioned by someone. In this case, I’m trying to have compassion towards that person instead of getting mad or upset at their view. I want to be very clear, this is not easy for me. I have 47 years of learning to judge and be judged, it’s not going to take a day, week or year to unlearn this. I’m taking small steps. Right now, I just use 1 word, “Why”.
Why do I feel this way?
Why did I say that to them?
Why does it make me feel _____ when that was said to me?
The word why is a magical word on this journey!
If you are looking to open your mind a bit more…start asking “Why”?
Do this anytime something doesn’t feel good (or something makes you feel bad). If you need some bedtime reading material – start with the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. Such an easy bedtime read and it will give you an opportunity to think about the wholeness that already exists within all of us! The book can be found on audible or on Amazon using the link below (I want to be transparent and let you knon that as an Amazon Assoicate, I earn from qualifying purchases, which I donate back to Roatan Animal Shelter/Island Dogs Rock).
Be Safe, stay healthy, hug your pets!